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Thursday, February 26, 2004

The Identity Zone

I am not my dominant memes. I am not an emergent property of the chaotic system of neural connections and feedback loops. I am not my conciousness. You cannot disect me and find me. I am all of me. Where do my boundaries end? Do I say that they end at my skin? Or do I include all of the other influences, the coat I bought and how it affects me, and affects others in their interaction with it is also part of me. Thinking from there I see that I am intimately interwoven with the tapestry of the universe - connected to all things indirectly and yet, as shown by chaos theory, intimately.

Recursive genes make powerful animals, and recursive memes are powerful ideas. They grow and multiply, they engineer whole thought environments to promote themselves within and without. My identity, this crenellated feedback meme, creeps through my neurons. Even while typing this, I am denying it, and thereby its roots push deeper. It rationalizes itself in my mind while I speak, and tries to maintain its hold on my psyche.

This identity is a fine and glorious illusion! (So it speaks).

The Nirvanas and Heavens of which religion speaks is freedom from the grip of these memes. When I am free of them, I experience a pure and constant feeling of ecstacy. My entire being is present without knots of self analysis, without clusters of fears and desires labeling themselves as "my identity". I am not concious, and yet I am able to perform to the peak of my ability.

Athletes and some mucisians call this "the zone".

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